Start doing things that support
and honour self, and that will help to encourage self-expression.
Do the things that we loved to do (or wished we could do) as a child:
drawing, colouring, finger-painting, running, playing skip-rope or
hopscotch, hula-hooping, writing in a diary, or whatever gave us comfort
and/or joy. This will help our inner child to feel acknowledged, and
safe and secure.
We are accompanied
in life by our guide/teaching angel who is a messenger of God; a divine
representative sent to be with us throughout our soul's sojourn.
The guides hear our every thought. Now, the concept of someone always
hearing our thoughts may seem frightening, for many feel that their
thoughts are private. We have been taught that only our actions and
our spoken words count as being real, but nothing could be further
from the Truth.
The Universal Intelligence, through our own personal guide, is so
completely interwoven with each of us that nothing escapes their notice
- no thought, no attitude, no emotion, no experience, nothing - is
ignored or overlooked. Our thoughts are every bit as audible as the
spoken word to them. Communicating consciously with the Universal
Intelligence through our guide, that is, by asking questions and,
just as importantly, by listening for answers, opens the door to finding
the root causes of our negative thoughts, attitudes, emotions, beliefs
and behaviours.
Armed with this knowledge, we can work in
meditation to discover the root cause
of the series of choices that have brought us to this point in life.
There's a wealth of information on how to do so in this website, including
a spiritual
questionnaire designed to help reveal
inner child issues. Most importantly, do not wait for anyone’s permission
or approval to do these things.
1 - Identify a negative behaviour
or physical condition (chronic lateness, withholding communication,
addictions, etc.)
2 - Find its root cause
This can be a challenge, since many
of us think that we cannot possibly recall events from our early
childhood. However, asking our guide for assistance while in a meditative
state will be very helpful and effective
Recall the first time the behaviour was done (usually in childhood),
and identify the thoughts, attitudes and emotions that occurred
when it happened. Recall the thought - the decision - that said,
"I'm going to do this", along with the circumstances under which
it was made, we can start to understand why we continue to do certain
things, and we can validate our experiences
Gain full understanding about why we did it. As adults, we can
look at our childhood experiences and find understanding that is
not possible for young children. This is not to place blame, but
to accept responsibility for our choices
3 - Grieve
Feel the emotions and think the thoughts that couldn't be expressed
as a child. Grieve the losses that were felt, and say the angry
thoughts out loud, if possible. Cry, cry, cry. Let it all out, as
scary as that may sound, for crying is an important part of the
healing process. Acknowledge the pain or cruelty that made us choose
to react the way we did, without understating the importance of
it
The events were important, for they have made us who we are
today. It does not matter whether anyone else thinks that our experiences
were easier or worse than theirs were. What is important is that
they happened to us, and they hurt us - they were traumatic
for us. All of our experiences have helped to create all the thoughts,
attitudes and emotions, belief systems and inner conflicts that
we have now, that are creating our negative behaviours
4 - Forgive self and others for
its occurrence. This is a critical action. Without
forgiveness, we remain stuck in the
past, constantly replaying unresolved experiences in our thoughts,
hoping that somehow we'll be able to figure out why they happened
5 - Identify another negative behaviour and continue
the process. We all have more than one bad habit! The reasons for
our behaviours are intertwined so there's always a deeper level of
understanding to be gained. Keep working to find deeper levels of
inner peace and enlightment.
This can be a challenge, since many
of us think that we can’t possibly recall events from our early
childhood. However, asking our guide for assistance while in a meditative
state will be very helpful and effective
Recall the first time the behaviour was done (usually in childhood),
and identify the thoughts, attitudes and emotions that occurred
when it happened. Recall the thought - the decision - that said,
"I'm going to do this", along with the circumstances under which
it was made, we can start to understand why we continue to do certain
things, and we can validate our experiences
Gain full understanding about why we did it. As adults, we can
look at our childhood experiences and find understanding that is
not possible for young children. This is not to place blame, but
to accept responsibility for our choices
Not doing this self-work puts us at risk for developing
many chronic diseases, but don’t just take my word for it. Science
is now proving that traumatic childhood experiences impact our health
in adulthood - check out this
TED Talks presentation
Our belief systems are incredibly powerful;
they help determine how we interpret and experience life.
We begin forming beliefs in childhood and our innate
confirmation bias determines whether we find them to be true or
false.
What sorts of experiences create them? Well, an emotionally absent
parent can lead a child to believe that she/he is unworthy, unimportant
or unwelcome. A smothering parent can lead a child to believe that
she/his is helpless, witless, incompetent and incapable. A parent
who smothers one child yet ignores another can lead the ignored one
to believe that she/he is pretty insignificant, and the smothered
child fares no better.
Inner child work roots out the negative belief systems (and thoughts,
attitudes and emotions) and reveals the Universal Truth about them,
rather than what we have come to accept as truth. Looking back on
our childhood as adults, we can recall the thoughts that we had as
young children and find validation. Many of the experiences we have
as children are written off by our caregivers as being unimportant,
or even worse, the Truth of the experiences becomes wrapped in
their denial, so it's up to us to validate ourselves. Doing so
enables us to become strong, confident individuals.
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