Start doing things that support and honour self, and that will help to encourage self-expression. Do the things that we loved to do (or wished we could do) as a child: drawing, colouring, finger-painting, running, playing skip-rope or hopscotch, hula-hooping, writing in a diary, or whatever gave us comfort and/or joy. This will help our inner child to feel acknowledged, and safe and secure.
We are accompanied in life by our guide/teaching angel who is a messenger of God; a divine representative sent to be with us throughout our soul's sojourn.
The guides hear our every thought. Now, the concept of someone always hearing our thoughts may seem frightening, for many feel that their thoughts are private. We have been taught that only our actions and our spoken words count as being real, but nothing could be further from the Truth.
The Universal Intelligence, through our own personal guide, is so completely interwoven with each of us that nothing escapes their notice - no thought, no attitude, no emotion, no experience, nothing - is ignored or overlooked. Our thoughts are every bit as audible as the spoken word to them. Communicating consciously with the Universal Intelligence through our guide, that is, by asking questions and, just as importantly, by listening for answers, opens the door to finding the root causes of our negative thoughts, attitudes, emotions, beliefs and behaviours.
Armed with this knowledge, we can work in
meditation to discover the root cause of the series of choices that have brought us to this point in life. There's a wealth of information on how to do so in this website, including a spiritual
questionnaire designed to help reveal inner child issues. Most importantly, do not wait for anyone’s permission or approval to do these things.
1 - Identify a negative behaviour or physical condition (chronic lateness, withholding communication, addictions, etc.)
2 - Find its root cause
This can be a challenge, since many of us think that we cannot possibly recall events from our early childhood. However, asking our guide for assistance while in a meditative state will be very helpful and effective
Recall the first time the behaviour was done (usually in childhood), and identify the thoughts, attitudes and emotions that occurred when it happened. Recall the thought - the decision - that said, "I'm going to do this", along with the circumstances under which it was made, we can start to understand why we continue to do certain things, and we can validate our experiences
Gain full understanding about why we did it. As adults, we can look at our childhood experiences and find understanding that is not possible for young children. This is not to place blame, but to accept responsibility for our choices
3 - Grieve
Feel the emotions and think the thoughts that couldn't be expressed as a child. Grieve the losses that were felt, and say the angry thoughts out loud, if possible. Cry, cry, cry. Let it all out, as scary as that may sound, for crying is an important part of the healing process. Acknowledge the pain or cruelty that made us choose to react the way we did, without understating the importance of it
The events were important, for they have made us who we are today. It does not matter whether anyone else thinks that our experiences were easier or worse than theirs were. What is important is that they happened to us, and they hurt us - they were traumatic for us. All of our experiences have helped to create all the thoughts, attitudes and emotions, belief systems and inner conflicts that we have now, that are creating our negative behaviours
4 - Forgive self and others for its occurrence. This is a critical action. Without forgiveness, we remain stuck in the past, constantly replaying unresolved experiences in our thoughts, hoping that somehow we'll be able to figure out why they happened
5 - Identify another negative behaviour and continue the process. We all have more than one bad habit! The reasons for our behaviours are intertwined so there's always a deeper level of understanding to be gained. Keep working to find deeper levels of inner peace and enlightment.
This can be a challenge, since many of us think that we can’t possibly recall events from our early childhood. However, asking our guide for assistance while in a meditative state will be very helpful and effective
Recall the first time the behaviour was done (usually in childhood), and identify the thoughts, attitudes and emotions that occurred when it happened. Recall the thought - the decision - that said, "I'm going to do this", along with the circumstances under which it was made, we can start to understand why we continue to do certain things, and we can validate our experiences
Gain full understanding about why we did it. As adults, we can look at our childhood experiences and find understanding that is
not possible for young children. This is not to place blame, but to accept responsibility for our choices
Not doing this self-work puts us at risk for developing many chronic diseases, but don’t just take my word for it. Science is now proving that traumatic childhood experiences impact our health in adulthood - check out this TED Talks presentation
Our belief systems are incredibly powerful; they help determine how we interpret and experience life.
We begin forming beliefs in childhood and our innate
confirmation bias determines whether we find them to be true or false.
What sorts of experiences create them? Well, an emotionally absent parent can lead a child to believe that she/he is unworthy, unimportant or unwelcome. A smothering parent can lead a child to believe that she/his is helpless, witless, incompetent and incapable. A parent who smothers one child yet ignores another can lead the ignored one to believe that she/he is pretty insignificant, and the smothered child fares no better.
Inner child work roots out the negative belief systems (and thoughts, attitudes and emotions) and reveals the Universal Truth about them, rather than what we have come to accept as truth. Looking back on our childhood as adults, we can recall the thoughts that we had as young children and find validation. Many of the experiences we have as children are written off by our caregivers as being unimportant, or even worse, the Truth of the experiences becomes wrapped in their denial, so it's up to us to validate ourselves. Doing so enables us to become strong, confident individuals.
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